Okay, so here I’m writing something. What’s the topic, you must ask. I don’t know, I must say. I seriously don’t. So, here I’m writing something, and I don’t have a damn idea what it is going to be about, what genre it is going to belong to, how long it has to be, what kind of structure it has to have, not even what purpose it is supposed to serve. I am just writing down whatever randomly comes to my mind. Great, keep it to yourself then, you would say. Of course, you would, why would you want to read further and know any thoughts put in here, when you know it is just random, and not well thought of or well organized? Why would you want to spend time after something purposeless, when you yourself are struggling to manage time amongst your own purposes? If we share a good relation, then at least for a moment, you would think of reading further, just for the sake of making me feel good as a friend or a relative. But beyond a certain point, even that won’t work. You would stop caring beyond a point. Because, you know that ‘purpose’ and ‘meaning’ are all there should be, and which are the only aspects I admit of having missed out on.
Now, my turn! Why so, I must ask. I don’t know, you must say. You seriously don’t. Why does EVERYTHING in the world have to be purposefully done or thought of or existent? Why EVERYTHING in the world has to be well planned or organized? Why do we always have to bind ourselves with the threads of purposes? If I say, I want to do something that is not going to be useful or harmful to anyone, why can’t it be acceptable? Why would I be termed a person with mental issues, if I decide to speak just random lines, which don’t make any sense at all?
On the basis of movies we see and books we read topped up with the deep [the drown-worthy deep ones!] quotes that appear every day on our FB timelines, we feel there to be a need of freeing ourselves of the shackles of society and corporate, and all. Some of us even go on talking about our wish of leaving everything and dream of travelling till the end of time. And yet, when it comes to nonsensical actions or words or anything of that sort, none of us admit to it. Why ‘nonsense’ is so untouchable [Off-the-topic: Being an Indian, I have a birthright to use this specific word wherever I wish, by the way!] to all our little sophisticated brains?
See, freedom from the things we already know we are in need of freedom from is the freedom well earned. But it is the freedom from the things we don’t even know we are captives of, which is the freedom well snatched. You can’t just leave your boredom to live a life of bliss, and say that you are free. You don’t know, but no, you are NOT! You are still captives of your own beliefs and thoughts.
Take an example of a person who left his job to travel freely for the rest of his life. [You already know from where this character is inspired.] This character of ours is, yes, framing his life as per his own wish. But, is he really free? Let’s add one more layer to the character: the character is an atheist. No matter where he travels, no matter which kinds of people he meets, his mannerisms and actions will always reflect his disbelieves in the existence of God. Let’s add one more layer: By the end of the journey, his beliefs change. Then what? Well, then he will be a slave of his new beliefs, but he will NOT be free, that’s something that won’t change.
There’s no way one can be free of his own thoughts and beliefs, you would say. One simply cannot disagree with his own thoughts, you would say. [If you have read અસંમત / Asammat and have been able to link this line to that concept, THANK YOU! But I can’t really discuss the novel’s concept here in this post, since it will go off-track!] Yes, I know. [If I were writing or reading અસંમત / Asammat currently, I would have disagreed here.] Yes, one cannot depart from his own beliefs. And that is exactly why one has to find the acceptability of nonsensical world.
Not always, but it indeed is a basic necessity to be crazy at regular intervals. Once in a while, you have to write without knowing what you are writing, paint without having any shape in your mind, dance without knowing where to place your steps, work without even knowing you are working. Once in a while, forget all you believe, forgive all you know, and behave independently of your own identity. Be random. Be purposeless. Be an unorganized animal. Be anything but yourself. Be an utter nonsense! Piss everyone around you off with your nonsense. [That is the most important part of your nonsensical career.] Not to forget, this, in form, is far different from offending anyone.
Of course, some would term this as a perfect example of waste of time. But, hey, don’t you want to know who you really are? Where you stand? Do your opinions possess qualitative truth or not? Answers to any of these are not possible by being yourself. You have to be, as I said, free of yourself and your beliefs. You have to be neutral, which can only be possible by two means: either by being The Saint Being, or by being The Nonsense Being! Well, you already know, which is more feasible to you! [Killing me for this won’t help you, by the way!]
*This is called an after-effect of being the later one.*